NO BUT REAL TALK OK I WENT TO SCHOOL IN GEORGIA AND I EVEN HAD TEACHERS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULDN’T CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN BECAUSE IT WAS THE DEVIL’S BIRTHDAY AND I GOT SUSPENDED FOR 4 DAYS BECAUSE I WROTE AN ESSAY ENTITLED “You’re All Dumb, The Devil Wasn’t Even Born: The Story of All Hallow’s Eve” AND I TALKED ABOUT THE HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN, HOW IT WAS A PAGAN CELEBRATION TO VENERATE AND APPEASE THE DEAD AND HOW THE DEVIL WAS TECHNICALLY AN ANGEL THAT WAS CAST FROM HEAVEN AND BECAUSE ANGELS WERE CREATED BY GOD THEY WEREN’T BORN THEREFORE THE DEVIL COULDN’T HAVE A BIRTHDAY. MY PRINCIPAL WAS SO CONCERNED FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS IN 3RD GRADE AND HE GOT MAD AT MY MOM FOR RAISING SUCH A “DISRESECTFUL, HEDOONISTIC CHILD”. SHE BOUGHT ME ICECREAM AND LET ME WATCH CARTOONS WHILE I WAS OUT OF SCHOOL.
Meanwhile, Satan sits alone in his room, wearing a party hat while he blinks back the tears and waits in despair for the guests who shall never arrive.
OH MY GOD. I used to live in Georgia, my grandma forced me to go to one of the crazy souther babtist churches, the preachers wife gave me a talk for wearing a Halloween shirt. Saying something about it being the devils birthday and that i should not be so happy about it. I WAS 8.
That preacher’s wife is missing out. The Devil throws a pretty rad party - well, tries to, anyway, since people keep doing this smear campaigns against him on his birthday of all days. Dude just wants to bob for apples and play pin the tail on the donkey, maybe eat some really rich chocolate cake and, y’know, open some presents if anyone brings any.
No one brings any presents.
No one ever comes.
"But who gives presents to Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to attend the birthday party of the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian’s charity, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest?" ~ Mark Twain
This post. Goddamit this post.
I love this holiday so much. And we love you, Satan. Happy Birthday!